Final Reflection

After doing the narrative argument essay, I realized that it is a lot easier to write about a personal story that is relevant to you. Another thing I liked about the Narrative story is that it gave me an opportunity to hear an interesting story from my father while at the same time bringing up a serious topic. Things that gave me trouble were that for my final version, I had to change the focus and point of the essay which forced me to find new information and facts on my topic.
Class wise, I had a very good experience in Academic Writing. Coming into the class, I always hated writing and did not enjoy the thought of it, but mostly because finding research was always hard for me. After taking this class, I have learned how to utilize my sources and became better at finding not only regular sources but scholarly sources as well. Another thing I liked about the class was the workshops we did. It gave me a good opportunity to not only become a better writer, but it also gave me the chance to realize how to critique and edit one of my papers effectively. Overall, it was a good experience, and the class was a lot better than what I had expected it to be in the beginning.

Final Narrative Essay

Sticks and Stones May Break Bones But Words Can Still Hurt

            The year was 1964, and my father was only seven years old living in Brooklyn New York. My father was just like any other kid at the time. He liked to hang out with friends, spend time with his family, and didn’t enjoy waking up to go to school. Although his dislike for school was similar to most children, what made his experience unique is that he had a problem that seemed unavoidable; a bully named Bruce. Bruce had been bullying my father for the entire first month that school had been in session. There was no violence, no bloody noses, no bruised limbs, nothing but just the pure torture of verbal bullying.

See, my father was one of those kids who grew up before everyone else and seemed to always be one step ahead of the other children in size. This brought some unnecessary attention to him because apparently when you’re a little kid, being tall and different can cause other children to feel more powerful in that they are what we describe as the normal ones. Now each day, my father would go into school, see Bruce, and would immediately be called things such as, “Giant”, or “Weirdo” as Bruce laughed in his face, not allowing him to pass in the halls until every word was hurtfully put into my father’s head. These names might not seem like the worst thing in the world, but to a seven-year-old boy, they can be just as hurtful as racist slang from one race to another. This continued day in and day out, until one day, my father had enough and decided to stand up for himself. Now before I go on and finish up this story, I would like to get into a serious discussion about verbal bullying and the proper ways one should handle such an issue.

            According to the article, What Is Verbal Bullying, by Rebecca Fraser-Thill, a verbal bully can be defined as, “Someone who uses language to gain power over his or her peers. The verbal bully makes use of relentless insults and teasing to bully his or her peers” (Fraser). Most people consider this to be worse than the physical aspect of bullying because it can cause a lot of emotional and psychological damage in a child if done over a period of time. Although verbal bullying is very harmful, if someone knows the right techniques to handle their bullies such as not using violence, talking to an adult, or ignoring the bully, problems can be solved and harm can be avoided.

Growing up, our parents always told us the same thing over and over again; violence is not the answer. Well, in the case of verbal bullying they are correct.  Bullies are always looking for a target that is weaker than them not only physically, but mentally as well. With this being said, fighting back physically or verbally only encourages the bully to tease someone even more. According to the article, Defending Yourself Against Verbal and Emotional Abuse, “ When you try to fight back by trying to prove the abuser wrong, you’re just saying, yes, I’m so weak that I will let you push my buttons” What they are saying in this article is that by letting the bully know you are hurt and affected by what they are saying, it makes them feel even more powerful over you, making them want to push your buttons even more. Fighting back may seem like a good idea, but in almost all cases, it only makes the situation worse.

In addition to not fighting back, talking to an adult or an authority figure about the issue is always another very effective way to end bullying. When an authority figure gets involved, it only strengthens the chance of the harassment coming to an end because most bullies are actually scared to get in trouble and do not want to bring unwanted attention to themselves. Especially in younger children, like my father at the time, being punished or having consequences for your actions is no fate a child wants to endure. According to an article called Verbal Bullying they state that, “ A trusted teacher can make things a little easier, by being on the lookout for bullying behavior.” To me, the most important words in that statement are the fact that they will be on the lookout. When someone else is aware of the problem someone is having, it raises awareness and only increases the chances of the bully being caught. Making the issue well known is a great way to help out the issue of bullying and it is by no means embarrassing and it is not being rat.

A third and final strategy that I would like to go over n stopping verbal bullying is to just ignore the bully all together. Like I said before, a bully likes to feel powerful and threatening against their victims, so by not giving them the satisfaction can get rid of the bully as well. In the article Dealing with Bullies, they say that, “ try your best to ignore the bully’s threats. Acting as if you don’t notice and don’t care is like giving no reaction at all, and this might stop a bully’s behavior.” When a bully does not receive a reaction, they will most likely get frustrated and find a different target because they realize that the current one they have is unaffected by the words or actions taken by the bully. I now take the time to finish up my father’s story, although his actions are none that I recommend to people with the same problem.

            As Bruce continued to bully my father, there came a day when my father had enough. One day in a local supermarket named Walbbaums, my father went shopping with my grandmother for some groceries. While at the supermarket, my grandmother gave him twenty-five cents to buy a toy out of the machine. My father quickly ran over, and obtained a popular toy back then, a blue spinning top. Of course, Bruce happened to be there as well with his friends, and went up to my father demanding for the toy. He pushed my father and demanded he give it up. Once he physically touched my father, that was the last straw considering my father was bigger than him. With all of his might, my dad closed his eye, clenched his fist, and punched Bruce right in the face and broke his nose. Bruce fell to the floor and ran home crying. Feeling accomplished, my father minded his own business and went home. Later that night, Bruce’s father knocked on my father’s door. My father, trembling in fear, went up to the man, and Bruce’s father had nothing to say other than, “Thank you for teaching my son a lesson. I don’t think he will be bothering anyone again.”

My father was able to handle his bully on his own, but his actions were those that should not be taken. If there is a situation that needs to be solved, it is important to take the steps that I have recommended earlier. These include things such as not using violence, telling an authority figure, or ignoring the bully all together. Verbal bullying is a serious subject and should not be overlooked. With all of the ways to deal with verbal bullying provided above, I think it is safe to say that a couple of words can take a toll on someone, and it is important to help the situation before it gets worse. In all, verbal bullying is something we should all be aware of, and remember, sticks and stones may break bones but words still hurt.

Works Cited

Beck, Kristen Brooke. "Defending Yourself Against Verbal and Emotional Abuse."

     Kristen's Guide. Kristen Brooke Beck Company, 17 Sept. 2007. Web. 8 May

     2011. <http://www.kristensguide.com/Happiness/Dealing_With_People/

     emotional_verbal_abuse_defense.asp>.

"Dealing with Bullies." Kids Health. Nemours, n.d. Web. 8 May 2011.

     <http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/bullies.html#>.

Fraser-Thill, Rebecca. "What Is Verbal Bullying." About.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 20

     Apr. 2011. <http://tweenparenting.about.com/od/socialdevelopment/a/

"Verbal Bullying." Bullying Statistics. N.p., 2009. Web. 8 May 2011.

     <http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/verbal-bullying.html>.l

bullying.htm>

           

           

           

Narrative Argument Draft

Sticks and Stones May Break Bones But Words Can Still Hurt

            The year was 1964, and my father was only seven years old living in Brooklyn New York. My father was just like any other kid at the time. He liked to hang out with friends, spend time with his family, and didn’t enjoy waking up to go to school. Although his dislike for school was similar to most children, what made his experience unique is that he had a problem that seemed unavoidable; a bully named Bruce. Bruce had been bullying my father for the entire first month that school had been in session. There was no violence, no bloody noses, no bruised limbs, nothing but just the pure torture of verbal bullying.

See, my father was one of those kids who grew up before everyone else and seemed to always be one step ahead of the other children in size. This brought some unnecessary attention to him because apparently when you’re a little kid, being tall and different can cause other children to feel more powerful in that they are what we describe as the normal ones. Now each day, my father would go into school, see Bruce, and would immediately be called things such as, “Giant”, or “Weirdo” as Bruce laughed in his face, not allowing him to pass in the halls until every word was hurtfully put into my father’s head. These names might not seem like the worst thing in the world, but to a seven-year-old boy, they can be just as hurtful as racist slang from one race to another. This continued day in and day out, until one day, my father had enough and decided to stand up for himself. Now before I go on and finish up this story, I would like to get into a serious discussion about verbal bullying and the effects it has on children.

            According to the article, What Is Verbal Bullying, by Rebecca Fraser-Thill, a verbal bully can be defined as, “Someone who uses language to gain power over his or her peers. The verbal bully makes use of relentless insults and teasing to bully his or her peers” (Fraser). Most people consider this to be worse than the physical aspect of bullying because it can cause a lot of emotional and psychological damage in a child if done over a period of time. The psychological damage formed can range all the way from low self-esteem all the way to clinical depression.

            When someone suffers with low-self esteem, they have a poor evaluation on their own personal worth in the world and tend to feel shameful on who they are as a person. This is not a joking matter when there are statistics saying that 33% of teens and children are teased and tormented with bullying multiple times throughout each year and that at by age of only 7 years old, a child will develop their self-esteem based on grades, strength and most importantly social acceptance (Essman). People with low self-esteem are not only affecting themselves, but they are affecting people around them. When someone has low-self esteem, they tend to walk around with their head down and keep to themselves most of the time, which is never a happy sight to see. To me, walking around with your head down is just as contagious as a cold because it can make anyone feel upset just by viewing someone else down in the dumps. Luckily, having low-self esteem can be easily fixed and help can be provided, but only if taken care of quickly. If the bullying and low self-esteem is not treated, they can lead to clinical `depression and post-dramatic stress disorder

            According to University Health Services at Berkeley College, “ Clinical depression is a serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Individuals with clinical depression are unable to function as they used to be. Often they have lost interest in activities that were once enjoyable to them, and feel sad and hopeless for extended periods of time” (Clinical). As it is shown, clinical depression is not something to fool around with. It is horrible to think that a couple of mean words and actions can lead to such a feeling inside a person.  If clinical depression is taken too far, and goes unknown, it can lead harmful action and even suicide. When suicide becomes a thought in someone head, it is tough to imagine how upset and hurt they feel. I bring all of this up to you not only to give facts and statistics, but I also address this issue to show how serious verbal bullying is and how far it can go if nothing is done about it. Thankfully, my father resolved his issue and never had to deal with feelings such as these, but the way he handled his problem might not have been the best.

            As Bruce continued to bully my father, there came a day when my father had enough. One day in a local supermarket named Walbbaums, my father went shopping with my grandmother for some groceries. While at the supermarket, my grandmother gave him twenty-five cents to buy a toy out of the machine. My father quickly ran over, and obtained a popular toy back then, a blue spinning top. Of course, Bruce happened to be there as well with his friends, and went up to my father demanding for the toy. He pushed my father and demanded he give it up. Once he physically touched my father, that was the last straw considering my father was bigger than him. With all of his might, my dad closed his eye, clenched his fist, and punched Bruce right in the face and broke his nose. Bruce fell to the floor and ran home crying. Feeling accomplished, my father minded his own business and went home. Later that night, Bruce’s father knocked on my father’s door. My father, trembling in fear, went up to the man, and Bruce’s father had nothing to say other than, “Thank you for teaching my son a lesson. I don’t think he will be bothering anyone again.”

Luckily, my father’s situation was quick and did not last long enough to actually cause psychological harm. Unfortunately, that is not the case with many people when dealing with verbal bullying. Verbal bullying is a serious subject and should not be overlooked. With the fact that it can cause low self-esteem and clinical depression, I think it is safe to say that a couple of words can take a toll on someone. In all, verbal bullying is something we should all be aware of, and remember, sticks and stones may break bones but words still hurt.

Works Cited

"Clinical Depression." uUhs.berkeley.com. Tang Center at UC Berkeley, n.d. Web.

     21 Apr. 2011. <http://uhs.berkeley.edu/lookforthesigns/

     depressionsuicide.shtml>.

Essman, Elliot. "Life in the USA Education in America Teen Self Esteem."

     Lifeintheusa.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 21 Apr. 2011.

     http://www.lifeintheusa.com/education/teen.htm

Fraser-Thill, Rebecca. "What Is Verbal Bullying." About.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 20

     Apr. 2011. <http://tweenparenting.about.com/od/socialdevelopment/a/

     verbal-bullying.htm>

Reflection 3.2

I enjoyed writing the Rogerian argument because it allowed me to explore any topic I wanted and felt strongly about. I also liked how it wasn't a straight forward argument like the other papers we have done and that I had to be polite and deceiving in how I went about bringing up my point of view. One thing I had a lot of trouble on was my revision. The class did help out a lot with the workshop, but because I got so many comments, I felt overwhelmed and did not know where to start. I was able to fix grammatical errors, but finding a scholarly source was very difficult to do on my subject. Looking back now, I would have liked to maybe find a better topic with scholarly sources, and I would have liked to give myself time to relax and not worry about the loads of comments that were given to me. I still think that although my paper did not go through any major revisions, it was a strong Rogerian argument. In the future, I will try to process all comments that I receive more calmly. Overall, I enjoyed this type of argument the most so far, and I am content with my paper as a whole.

Brigham Young University Punishment Too Harsh?

BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY PUNISHMENT TOO  HARSH?

Dear President Samuelson,

I send this letter in regards to your prestigious and well-structured university that has been growing in size ever since 1903 when it first officially became Brigham Young. Let me first start off by saying that I highly respect how the university is sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, considering that the church serves more than 1.2 million people throughout 144 different countries. I assume with this sponsorship must come certain responsibilities and codes that I am sure all the students must follow. Because I was interested in what specific codes must be followed, I took a look at the webpage and this is what I found. According to the Honor Code Statement, “ All students will be honest, live a chaste and virtuous life, obey the law and all campus policies, use clean language, respect others, and abstain from alcohol and substance abuse” (Honor code). Although all of these rules are understandable, I would like to talk to you about one in particular that I feel very strongly about. This is if the severity of the living a chaste and virtuous lifestyle and how it was broken by fellow student and basketball sensation, Brand Davies.

 Having about 12,000 students in the entire university as compared to other 30,000-student schools, it is safe to say that in a smaller campus, it may be easier to keep track of the students and what activities they engage in. It is possible for campus police to spot alcohol and other substances as well as enforcing a dress code, but one thing I do not see being reasonable is the severity of not following the code of living a chaste life. This is where the students may not participate in sexual actions with either the same or opposite sex. I know that the University is known for its moral code and that if the student decided to attend the college that there is no way around it, but I think the severity of the rule should be looked over. When sophomore basketball player Brandon Davies broke this honor code, he was not only humiliated by his actions, but he was kicked off the team for the rest of the season. I think this might be a little harsh and unreasonable considering that according to a study done with 1,000 students from UW-Madison by Mark Kinders, with students that are between the age of 18 and 23, almost eighty percent of males and just over fifty percent of females are sexually active (Kinders par 5). I know BYU and UW-Madison are two completely different schools and that you both have your own rules, but if that many students are sexually active at other colleges, it could be possible that students at BYU are secretly engaging in sexual activity as well, like Brandon Davies. This being said, I would like to talk more about the recent incident regarding Brandon Davies and how I believe you might reconsider your approach on the severity of the chaste lifestyle code.

During the entire month of March, the men’s basketball team, who has been brilliantly coached by David Rose, was in the running for a National Championship but were unfortunately knocked out in the Round Of 16. Being that BYU is very school spirited and appreciates their basketball team, if it is not too sore of a subject, I would like to bring up the incident that happened with the Center, Brandon Davies. Before the tournament even began, Davies was a top player on the team and unfortunately was kicked off for engaging in pre-marital sex. I send my apologies to you and the University in that this obviously hurt the chances of a successful tournament in that BYU was just doing what they had to do as a University. According to Marien Garcia of USA Today, “The team’s momentum for a No. 1 seed in the NCAA tournament, and its chances of reaching the Final Four, might go with him” (Garcia par 2). That being said, I would like to hope we could both agree that these unfortunate actions could have been a factor as to why the BYU basketball team did not move further on in the tournament.

 I know in the scheme of things, winning a basketball title is somewhat of a road-bump when realizing that to win it meant letting a student who broke an entire Honor code that has been established for years and years play. Now, I would like to look even further past just losing a game, and focus on how the severity of the chaste code might affect Davies future out of college as well. Because I know you are the president of BYU, I think it is safe to say that you truly care about each and every one of your students and that you want to make sure all of them leave with successful and happy job opportunities. Being that Davies is only a 19 year-old sophomore, at 6 foot 9, this tournament wasn’t just a basketball game to him, but also meant having an opportunity to impress NBA coaches who might be interested in him in the future. NBA coaches recruit top athletes from the time they are in high school all the way through their college years, so for Davies to be a huge part of a possible National Championship team means that he could have definitely had a couple of looks. I know there was no intention by the University to hurt his career, but this is a real and serious consequence from being kicked off the team. I also know the University has not made a decision as to whether Davies will be allowed to play or attend the school next year, but I would really hope that you take the NBA scouting opportunity as a reason to give him another chance in the back of your mind.

 As I wrap up this letter to you, I think it is clear that I honestly do respect the rules and regulations set up by Brigham Young University. I do believe that it is fair for all students to remain substance free and I even think it is all right for you to have a chaste code in general, but once again I think the severity of it can be reduced. I appreciate that you have spent the time to read my letter and before I let you go I would like to just bring up some possible alternatives for punishment if the chaste lifestyle rule is broken. Instead of being expelled from the school or being kicked off a collegiate team, maybe the student will have some credits taken away from them during the specific semester that the rule was broken in. One other possibility could be that the student must take a course/class in the college that offers reasons and beliefs on why the code really should be followed at the University and what it is all about. These changed might not be exactly what the University needs, but they are just some ideas to think about when reviewing my case. Once again, thank you for your time and when considering my reason as to why the severity may be reduced, just remember that as a college student and you as president, we both want successful and happy job opportunities when graduating.

Sincerely,

Jake Eckhaus

Works Cited

Garcia, M. (n.d.). BYU's brandon davies suspended for the rest of the season.

     Retrieved March 23, 2011

Honor code statement. (n.d.). Church educational system honor code (byu

     webpage). Retrieved March 29, 2011

Kinders, M. (n.d.). Educators discuss student sexual activity. Retrieved March

     27, 2011

            

Prewriting 4.2 Climatic Scene

One day, my dad took a trip to the supermarket with my grandmother. It was just another average day of shopping, my dad getting to ride in the cart as my grandmother pushed it along as he threw his favorite snacks in walking by the aisles. Eventually, my grandmother told my dad he can go buy one toy from the toy section of the supermarket, and he could pick anything he liked. My dad, being the decisive man he is today, looked straight at the football that he wanted and picked it right up. He had never been so excited to play with something in this life. The bright blue ball with orange lacing, his two favorite colors. Walking back to my grandmother, he was stopped by none other than his childhood bully. My father thought to himself, "How can he possibly find me and want to bother me while I am with my mother." Quickly, the bully told my father to give him the football, or else he would force him to. Before this event occurred, my father had been fed up with being bullied all of the time and realized that he was a bigger kid than his bully anyway. As my father said no to giving the bully the football, the bully quickly went to grab it form my dad. In an instance, my dad clenched a fist a punched the bully right in the face in the middle of the supermarket. Not only did he have the courage to punch him in the face, but he broke his nose as well. My father then ran off to my grandmother, checkout out, and left the supermarket without telling her what happened.

PreWriting Essay 4

The topic I am choosing to do a narrative on is bullying. Bullying is a serious thing in today's society and it affects a lot of kids. When my dad was younger, he used to have a bully that would annoy him every single day, not only during school but after school as well. One day, the bully went to steal a toy my dad had in the supermarket and my dad was so fed up with it by this point he punched him in the face and broke his nose. The next day, the bully's father went to my dad's house to thank him for putting his son in his place. Where I am going with this is that bully prevention and discussions should be more relevant and serious in schools starting from a young age. I figured for evidence I could gain scholarly sources about bully statistics and the psychological impact that it has. Also, since the story is about my father, I will be able to get real and interesting quotes from him and how he felt at the time. The only problem I see writing about this topic is having enough detail and quality to the story part of it considering it is not my personal experience.

Essay 3.1

Dear President Samuelson,

I send this letter in regards to your prestigious and well-structured university that has been growing in size ever since 1903 when it first officially became Brigham Young. Let me first start off by saying that I highly respect how the university is sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints considering that it serves more than 1.2 million people throughout 144 different countries. I assume with this sponsorship must come certain responsibilities and codes that I am sure all the students must follow. Being interested in what specific codes must be followed, I took a look at the webpage and this is what I found. According to the Honor Code Statement, “ All students will be honest, live a chaste and virtuous life, obey the law and all campus policies, use clean language, respect others, and abstain from alcohol and substance abuse.” (Honor code) Although all of these rules are understandable, I would like to talk to you about one in particular that I feel very strongly about. This is f the severity of the living a chaste and virtuous lifestyle.

            Having about 12,000 students in the entire university as compared to other 30,000 student schools, it is safe to say that in a smaller campus, it may be easier to keep track of the students and what activities they engage in. It is possible for campus police to spot alcohol and other substances as well as enforcing a dress code, but one thing I do not see being reasonable is the severity of not following the code of living a chaste life in which they may not participate in sexual actions with either the same or opposite sex. I know that the University is known for its moral code and that if the student decided to attend the college that there is no way around it but I think the severity of the rule should be looked over. According to a study done with 1,000 students from UW-Madison by Mark Kinders, “Students between 18 and 23, 75% of males and 60 % of females are sexually active.” (Kinders) I know BYU and UW-Madison are two completely different schools and that you both have your own rules, but if that many students are sexually active at other colleges, it could be possible that students at BYU are secretly engaging in sexual activity as well. This being said, I would like to talk about a recent incident in which I believe you might reconsider your approach on the severity of the chaste lifestyle code.

            During the entire month of March, the men’s basketball team, who has been brilliantly been coached by David Rose was in the running for a National Championship but were unfortunately knocked out in the round of 16. Being that BYU is very school spirited and appreciates their basketball team, if it is not too soar of a subject, I would like to bring up the incident that happened with the Center, Brandon Davies. Before the tournament even began, Davies was a top player on the team and unfortunately was kicked off for engaging in pre-marital sex. I send my apologies to you and the University in that this obviously hurt the chances of a successful tournament in that BYU was just doing what they had to do looking at the Honor Code. According to Marien Garcia of USA Today, “The team’s momentum for a No. 1 seed in the NCAA tournament, and its chances of reaching the Final Four, might go with him.” (Garcia) That being said, I would like to hope we could both agree that these unfortunate actions could have been a factor as to why the BYU basketball team did not move on further in the tournament.

            I know in the scheme of things, winning a basketball title is somewhat of a road-bump when realizing that to win it meant breaking an entire Honor code that has been established for years and years. Now, I would like to look even further past just losing a game, and focus on how the severity of the chaste code might affect Davies future out of college as well.  Being president of a University, I think it is safe to say that you truly care about each and every one of your students and that you want to make sure all of them leave with successful and happy job opportunities. Being that Davies is only a 19 year-old sophomore, at 6 foot 9, this tournament wasn’t just a basketball game to him, but also meant having an opportunity to impress NBA coaches who might be interested in him in the future. NBA coaches recruit top athletes from the time they are in high school all the way through their college years, so for Davies to be a huge part of a possible National Championship team means that he could have definitely had a couple of looks. I know there was no intention by the University to hurt his career, but this is a real and serious consequence from being kicked off the team. I also know the University has not made a decision as to whether Davies will be allowed to play or attend the school next year, but I would really hope that you take the NBA scouting opportunity as a reason to give him another chance in the back of your mind.

            As I wrap up this letter to you, I think it is clear that I honestly do respect the rules and regulations set up by Brigham Young University. I do believe that it is fair for all students to remain substance free and I even think it is all right for you to have a chaste code in general, but once again I think the severity of it can be reduced. I appreciate that you have spent the time to read my letter and before I let you go I would like to just bring up some possible alternatives for punishment if the chaste lifestyle rule is broken. Instead of being expelled from the school or being kicked off a collegiate team, maybe the student will have some credits taken away from them during the specific semester that the rule was broken in. One other possibility could be that the student must take a course/class in the college that offers reasons and beliefs on why the code really should be followed at the University and what it is all about. Once again thank you for your time and when considering my reason as to why the severity may be reduced, just remember that as a college student and you as a president, we both want successful and happy job opportunities when graduating.

Sincerely,

Jake Eckhaus

Works Cited

Garcia, M. (n.d.). BYU's brandon davies suspended for the rest of the season.

     Retrieved March 23, 2011, from http://content.usatoday.com/communities/

     campusrivalry/post/2011/03/byu-brandon-davies-suspended/1

Honor code statement. (n.d.). Church educational system honor code (byu

     webpage). Retrieved March 29, 2011, from http://saas.byu.edu/catalog/

     2010-2011ucat/GeneralInfo/HonorCode.php#HCOfficeInvovement

Kinders, M. (n.d.). Educators discuss student sexual activity. Retrieved March

     27, 2011, from http://www2.uwrf.edu/news_bureau/1103001.html

            

Reflection 2.2 Rebuttal

I enjoyed doing the rebuttal essay more than the rhetorical analysis. When doing the rhetorical analysis, I was limited to only stating what the author did in their article and how it reflected the proper way to utilize proper tools when writing an editorial. On the other hand, when writing the rebuttal, I was actually able to give my own personal opinion and my own response on the issue while finding research that supported my thoughts. After getting suggestions, I found that I was able to utilize most of them in order to make my paper better such as turning to music discussion into a psychological aspect on the music restrictions. The problem that I had was turning the sleep away camp paragraph into something more than just disproving what she had to say based on personal experience and statistics. Finally, the last thing that I enjoyed about the rebuttal argument was how the topics were all interesting and while trying to pick one I did not get bored of reading the articles. Overall, I think the rebuttal argument is a fun and interesting way to get your opinion out and letting it be heard on a subject you feel strongly about.

Prewriting Essay 3

The topic I am considering doing my Rogerian argument on is the controversy of the BYU basketball player getting kicked off the team right before the NCAA basketball tournament. Brandon Davies, who was one of BYU's most promising players was kicked off the team for having premarital sex with a girl at the age of 19. According to the BYU honor code, and being that it is a very catholic school,  they forbid drinking or sex while attending the University or before marriage. I find this topic interesting because I am a big college basketball fan and I have a lot of opinions on the situation. I find it easy to say how they have the right to follow school policy if their rules are broken and that their school board has the power to make the decision that they choose. At the same time, I would bring up the fact that he was a very promising athlete and to ruin a boys possible athletic future career is not a fair punishment. Also, he showed a huge amount of remorse after his actions, which shows that he is taking responsibility as a man for what he has done. By bringing up all of these points and views, I think I will be able to write a successful Rogerian argument on why he should be allowed to continue playing, especially when their school has a chance to win a National Title. The only difficulty I see in writing this argument, is that I will have to find a scholarly and legitimate source on the topic and not just a bunch of opinions that other people have written. Scholarly sources that I am going to try and find are articles written by the Dean of the school, or even professors at the school that have been published in worthy news sources. If this topic gets too difficult to find a legitimate source, I will have to brainstorm and try to find another topic.

Tiger Mom Rebuttal Version 2.2

Dear Mrs. Chua,

            My name is Jake Eckhaus and I am a student at Ithaca College in upstate New York. I have recently read the article posted in the Wall Street Journal, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior”, and I must say I feel rather angered by the assumed parenting of Western and Chinese mothers. I don’t believe that you have the right to restrict your children to not playing any instrument other than the violin or piano in that it may harm their mental health and state of being. Another statement that I would completely like to disprove is how all Chinese girls cannot have boyfriends in high school and that they do not go to sleep away camp. Finally, it is no where near okay to tell your child that they are fat or that they are garbage in that it is psychologically damaging as well.

            In the article, you talk about how you would not let your children play any instrument other than the piano or violin (Chua pg.1). This is absolutely ridiculous and could cause your child to feel very timid and low in personal expression. Plenty of Chinese-American mothers allow their children to attend private guitar, trumpet, and even drum lessons, in which their children are free to release stress, anger, or emotion through their instrument. According to Elizabeth Scott, whose research has been checked by the Medical Review Board, it was found that, “ Music can also be used to bring a more positive state of mind helping depression and anxiety at bay, and can help keep creativity and optimism levels higher” (Scott par.4). This shows that any instrument that is found enjoyable can help children and the body develop in a healthy way. Although the piano and violin may be very soothing instruments, it should be up to the child on which sounding instrument they get the most enjoyment out of and take seriously. There is no evidence saying that drums or guitar lead to bad behavior and as research shows, any instrument can have a powerful effect over a child. It is obvious that not all Chinese mothers like yourself forbid musical freedom for their child. Music is a wonder of the world, and should not be hidden from a child if they would like to explore certain instruments.

            It is also crazy how you think that ALL Chinese parents do not allow their daughters to date in high school or for their children to not go to sleep away camp. Being a freshman in college, I personally have four years of high school experience. Attending high school for four years, I have seen multiple relationships between Chinese girls and boys along with, although maybe shocking to you, relationships with Chinese girls and western boys as well. To go into even more detail, a Chinese girl that I know named Jessica Lee has been dating her boyfriend since 9^th grade. I don’t know if this may be shocking to you or not, but that would mean Jessica has dated him through her ENTIRE high school experience. Also, I have attended sleep away camp from the ages of 10-12 and I had plenty of Chinese children in my group. Along with my personal experiences, according to Jon Malinowski from the American Camp Association, “ In terms of race and ethnicity, 75 percent of residential camp populations in 2006 were white, 10 percent were black, 7 percent were Hispanic, and 3 percent were Asian” (Malinowski par. 4). This statistic itself is enough to prove the “no” sleep away camp rule wrong. To add to that, this country is becoming more culturally accepting every year so I would not be surprised if the amount of Asian campers have gone up to about 10 percent by this year. Seeing these personal anecdotes and official facts, I think it is safe to say that some Chinese girls do in fact date in high school and that Chinese children are allowed to attend sleep away camp over the summer.

            The thing that I found the most repellent in your editorial is how you publically called your daughter garbage at a dinner party and how you think it is okay to tell your children that they are fat (Chua pg.2). You might think this will enter your child’s brain as hard but positive encouragement and it does not at all. If you were so caught up on your studies and knowledge about parenting, you would have realized that negative parenting could lead to child depression and cause aggravation. In an article called Harsh Parenting in Relation to Child Emotion Regulation and Aggression, the head of the department of education at The Chinese University of Hong Kong, Lei Chang backs up this statement. He explains that, “The association between harsh parenting and child aggression depends on whether parental disciplinary actions are carried out in an emotionally controlled or an emotionally charged manner” (Chang par.2). Considering you have called your child a fatty and garbage in front of many people, I would like to assume you said it in an emotionally charged and negative manner. As we see from Professor Chang, that could easily lead to a direct cause in a child’s future aggression. Out of all of the remarks that were made in your article, publicly humiliating and putting down your child is by far the most surprising in my opinion. No child should have to endure the feeling of a parent letting everyone know around them that their child has disappointed them.

            In all, I think your editorial; Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior might be why many people stereotype that Chinese Mothers are crazy and strict. With mental health from musical freedom, guessing that all Chinese girls do not date in high school or go to sleep away camp, and negatively calling out your child in public, one can see that the way you parent your child isn’t the way every Chinese parent does. In fact, this might even prove that some Chinese parents raise their children like many Western parents do in today’s world. If your way of parenting work for your children, then continue to do as you do and I hope they grow up to be very successful and happy people. On the other hand, parents should be able to raise their kids in their own way, so for you to stereotype and assume how things should be done is a disrespectful blow to all parents who are different around the world.

Sincerely,

Jake Eckhaus.

WORKS CITED

Chang, Lei. "Harsh Parenting in Relation to Child Emotion Regulation and

     Aggression." Ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. J Fam Psychol, 17 Dec. 2011. Web. 1 Mar.

     2011. <http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2754179/>.

Chua, A. (2011, January 8). Why Chinese mothers are superior. Retrieved March 4,

     2011, from http://online.wsj.com/article/

     SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html

Malinowski, J. (2008, September). Site seeing: Selected findings from the site,

     Facilities, and program survey. Retrieved March 13, 2011, from Camping

     Magazine website: http://www.acacamps.org/campmag/issues/0809/malinowski

Scott, E. (2007, November 1). Music and your body: How music affects us and why

     Music therapy promotes health. Retrieved March 17, 2011, from

     http://stress.about.com/od/tensiontamers/a/music_therapy.htm

Reflection 2.1

The research process for this specific topic was actually very interesting. I am very into my topic, so looking up things to disprove what I don't agree with is very fun for me. I have currently found two secondary sources that provide support for some of the points I make. I was able to find an article about a psychology study showing how negative parenting words can harm their child psychologically in the future. I was also able to find an article that a women wrote specifically arguing against one of the points I disagreed with as well. The only thing I am confused about is whether or not a source is a scholarly if it is written by a professor yet found online. I will continue to look up more sources incase I find ones that make my argument stronger than the ones already used. I plan on using the library database as well in order to help my search go along more smoothly.

Tiger Mom Assumptions About Parenting Essay 2.1

3/2/2011

            Dear Mrs. Chua,

            My name is Jake Eckhaus and I am a student at Ithaca College in upstate New York. I have recently read your article, Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior, and I must say I feel rather angered by the assumed parenting of Western and Chinese mothers. I don’t believe that you have the right to generalize how it is alright for parents to have their children not play any instrument other than the violin or piano. Another statement that I would completely like to disprove is how all Chinese girls cannot have boyfriends in high school and that they do not go to sleep away camp. Finally, it is no where near okay to tell your child that they are fat or that they are garbage in that it is psychologically damaging.

In the article, you talk about how no Chinese mother would let her child play any instrument other than the piano or violin (pg.1). This is absolutely ridiculous. Plenty of Chinese-American mothers allow their children to attend private guitar, trumpet, and even drum lessons. Although the piano and violin may be very soothing instruments, it should be up to the child on which sounding instrument they get the most enjoyment out of and take seriously. There is no evidence saying that drums or guitar lead to bad behavior and for all we know any instrument can have a powerful effect over a child.  On Cnngo.com there is an article called A “Tiger Mother” Rebuttal From Across the Ocean written by Samantha Lee, a Hong Kong journalist. In this article she states, “My mother is Chinese.  She was, by Chua’s standards, heathen in my upbringing, as she allowed me to interact with other children for fun and also let me play the clarinet.” (Par. 14) By Lee being allowed to play other instruments as a child, it is obvious that not all Chinese mothers like yourself forbid musical freedom for their child. Music is a wonder of the world, and should not be hidden from a child if they would like to explore certain instruments.

It is also crazy how you think that ALL Chinese parents do not allow their daughters to date in high school or for their children to not go to sleep away camp. Being a freshman in college, I personally have four years of high school experience. Attending high school for four years, I have seen multiple relationships between Chinese girls and boys along with, although maybe shocking to you, relationships with Chinese girls and western boys as well. To go into even more detail, a Chinese girl that I know named Jessica Lee has been dating her boyfriend since 9^th grade. I don’t know if your brain can handle this fact, but that would mean Jessica has dated him through her ENTIRE high school experience. Also, I attended sleep away camp from the ages of 10-12 and I had plenty of Chinese kids in my group. Seeing these personal anecdotes, I think it is safe to say that some Chinese girls do in fact date in high school and that Chinese children are allowed to attend sleep away camp over the summer.

 The thing that I found the most disgusting in your editorial is how you publically called your daughter garbage at a dinner party and how you think it is okay to tell your children that they are fat. (pg.2) You might think this will enter your child’s brain as hard but positive encouragement and it does not at all. If you were so caught up on your studies and knowledge about parenting, you would have realized that negative parenting can lead to child depression and cause aggravation. In an article called Harsh Parenting in Relation to Child Emotion Regulation and Aggression, the head of the department of education at The Chinese University of Hong Kong, Lei Chang backs up this statement. He explains that, “The association between harsh parenting and child aggression depends on whether parental disciplinary actions are carried out in an emotionally controlled or an emotionally charged manner.” (par.2) Considering you have called your child a fatty and garbage in front of many people, I would like to assume you said it in an emotionally charged and negative manner. As we see from Professor Chang, that would lead to a direct cause in a child’s future aggression. Out of all outrageous remarks that were made in your article, publicly humiliating and putting down your child is by far the most disgusting in my opinion. No child should have to endure the feeling of a parent letting everyone know around them that their child has disappointed them.

 In all, I think your editorial called Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior might be why many people will consider you to be the reason many people stereotype that Chinese Mothers Are Crazy. With not letting your kids explore music freely, guessing that all Chinese girls do not date in high school, and negatively calling out your child in public, one can see that the way you parent your child isn’t the way every Chinese parent does. In fact, this might even prove that some Chinese parents raise their children like many Western parents do in today’s world. Parents should be able to raise their kids in their own way, so for you to stereotype and assume how things should be done is a disrespectful blow to all parents who are different around the world.

WORKS CITED

Chang, Lei. "Harsh Parenting in Relation to Child Emotion Regulation and

     Aggression." Ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. J Fam Psychol, 17 Dec. 2011. Web. 1 Mar.

     2011. <http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2754179/>.

Leese, Samantha. "A 'Tiger Mother' Rebuttal from across the Ocean."

     Cnngo.com. N.p., 21 Jan. 2011. Web. 1 Mar. 2011.

     <http://www.cnngo.com/hong-kong/life/samantha-leese-138468>.

Documentation Quiz

1. MLA Format
2. In this system there are two parts which are in-text citations and Parenthetical Citations
3. For a Web Source you need: Author/Editor, the name of the database that you used, title of the project, the article or book used, the date of the revision, and any version numbers that are available to you.

Prewriting Essay 2

Amy's article seems to be farfetched and too broad in how she tries to compare herself with the entire chinese mother population. Obviously not every single family is like that, so for her to make everything seem black and white for westerners and her is an unsupportive argument. It seems to me that she is ranting about her beliefs more than actually providing a strong argument with support. The lack of support includes not saying how her children feel about how they are treated and how she does not acknowledge a common medium between the two cultures. Something I would like to research on this topic is how much of a childhood is taken away from the child, and how it will affect them later on in life. Also, it would be interesting to see if any of the children break their parent's beliefs when they become older and have children themselves. Things that shocked me in this article include how her children never saw friends, never had sleepovers, and that an A- on a test would cause the parent to buy practice tests for their children.   This article has many stereotypes that I would like to look at more closely.

A Rhetorical Analysis of Government should create stricter gun laws

Gun Violence Becoming Uncontrollable?

On January 26^th, 2011, Megan Weintraut wrote the article, Government should create stricter gun laws for the Ithacan, explaining her thoughts on why the government needs to create stricter gun laws throughout the United States. Weintraut makes multiple points that are strongly incorporated throughout her essay in order to achieve a specific goal of awareness.  She does this through the usage of rhetorical appeals, rhetiorical situation, and the ability to cover all parts that are needed in an argument.

            Rhetorical appeals are constantly being used throughout this editorial. Most Americans believe that guns and violence are problems to being with, so stating we need change is appealing to logos, or the logical sense. Another way she manages to incorporate rhetorical appeals is by mentioning events such as the Virginia Tech shooting or Columbine High School (paragraph 6). By doing this, she is making her readers reach down into their feelings as their emotions come out, remembering loses that occurred on those days. What hit me the most as a reader is looking at all of the statistics she gives in her essay, creating ethos. At one point, Megan states, “ In 2006 alone, firearms were involved in 68% of murders, and more than 90% of today’s gang-related homicides involve guns” (paragraph 3). These three appeals of logos, pathos, and ethos are powerfully used in Megan’s article to obtain reasoning. 

            Not only does Megan use appeals to reach her point, but she uses rhetorical situation as well. Rhetorical Situation focuses on her audience, occasion, and the purpose of the argument. The audiences of this article are readers of the Ithacan newspaper.  It effectively reaches it’s audience because a typical college student would like to know that he or she is safe from gun violence and that their country is trying to do something about it. Being made obvious by previous usage in my essay, the type of argument this is, or its occasion, is an editorial submission. Also, It seems to have been written solely because of the school shootings that have taken place in the past. Being an article, Megan had to make sure that her purpose was clearly stated, knowing many people would be reading it. In my opinion, the purpose of this article is to solely demand that our government regulates the number of guns and ammo that can be purchased at one time. Of course covering appeals and rhetorical situation is always important, but having all parts of an argument is crucial to a strong argument.

            To have all of the parts of an argument included, Megan had to make sure that she stated a claim, gave reasons, provided evidence to support those reasons, and acknowledge other views at the same time. Her claim was stated in the second paragraph of the argument when she says, “ American citizens can live their daily lives easily and securely without the use of arms” (paragraph 2). Weintraut provided dominant reasons such as video games and the availability of guns and ammo to support her theory. Of course, she made sure to provide evidence for each of these reasons including the game Grand Theft Auto, being how kids are rewarded for killing police offers, and that in every state except four, there is no limit to how many guns or how much ammunition can be bought at a single time. The most essential part of an argument that really makes the reader appreciate Megan’s argument is how she acknowledges that the country has made some efforts to help in the past,  but just not enough. This is shown in her evidence when she states, “ Only four states (California, Maryland, New Jersey, and Virginia) limit their citizens to one gun purchase per 30 days” (paragraph 5). By showing respect for what the government has already done to stop gun violence in the past, readers of the article might be more inclined to being open to her thoughts as well. All of the parts of an argument that are used by Weintraut are a huge factor as to why this is such a strong article.

            In all, the article on the need for stricter gun laws by Megan Weintraut is insightful and full of everything that is necessary for an impactful argument. By using appeals, rhetorical situations, and the parts of an argument, Weintraut achieved the capability to intrigue her audience to listen to her opinion on the subject given.

             

            

Reflection 1.1

Some of the things that I am happy with about my first draft is that I have a lot of detail and examples to back up what I have to say. Another thing that I am content with is that the analysis seems to flow and does not lose the reader, staying on subject. The things I would like to work on with my draft are making sure I am using the right wording and lingo that a rhetorical analysis needs in correct spots. Also, I want to make sure that the reader knows when I am talking about the rhetorical appeals without actually mentioning them directly while also making sure the examples of rhetorical appeals actually fit with the right one.

Essay 1.1: A Rhetorical Analysis on of Megan Weintraut's " Government should create stricter gun laws"

            On January 26^th, 2011, Megan Weintraut wrote an article for the Ithaca Newspaper explaining her thoughts on why the government needs to create stricter gun laws throughout the United States. In this article, Megan makes multiple points that are strongly incorporated throughout her essay in order to achieve a specific goal of awareness.  She does this through the intense usage of rhetorical appeals, rhetorical situations, and the ability to cover all parts that are needed in an argument.

            Textual Analysis, which deals with the text itself and the rhetorical appeals, is constantly being used throughout this article. Most Americans believe that guns and violence are problems to begin with, so by her stating we need change is appealing to logos, or the logical sense. Another way she manages to incorporate rhetorical appeals is by mentioning events such as the Virginia Tech shooting or Columbine High School. By doing this, she is making her readers reach down into their feelings as their emotions come out remembering loses that occurred on those horrific days. What hit me as a reader the most is looking at all of the credible statistics she gives in her essay, creating credibility. At one point, Megan states, “ In 2006 alone, firearms were involved in 68% of murders, and more than 90% of today’s gang-related homicides involve guns.” These three appeals of logos, pathos, and credibility are powerfully used in Megan’s article to obtain contextual reasoning. 

            Not only does Megan use rhetorical appeals to reach her point, but she goes onto using rhetorical situation as well. Rhetorical Situation focuses on the audience, occasion, and the purpose of her argument. The audiences of this article are readers of The Ithacan newspaper and other students.  It effectively reaches it’s audience because a typical college student would like to know that he or she is safe from gun violence and that their country is trying to do something about it. Being made obvious by previous usage in my essay, the type of argument this is, or its occasion, is an article submission. Being an article, Megan had to make sure that her purpose was clearly stated, in that many people would be reading it. In my opinion, the purpose of this article is to solely demand that our government regulates the number of guns and ammo that can be purchased at one time. Of course covering appeals and rhetorical situations are always important, but having all of the parts of an argument is crucial to a strong argument.

            To have all of the parts of an argument included, Megan had to make sure that she stated a claim, gave reasons, provided evidence to support those reasons, and acknowledged other views at the same time. Her claim was clearly stated in the second paragraph of the argument when she says, “ American citizens can live their daily lives easily and securely without the use of arms.” To support this theory, Megan provided dominant reasons to why this is true; reasons such as video games in the media, and the availability of guns and ammo. Of course, she made sure to provide evidence for each of these reasons including the video game Grand Theft Auto, being how kids are rewarded for killing police offers, and that in every state except four, there is no limit to how many guns or how much ammunition can be bought at a single time. The most essential part of an argument that really makes the reader appreciate Megan’s argument is how she acknowledges that the country has made some efforts to help in the past,  but just not enough. This is shown in her evidence when she states, “ Only four states (California, Maryland, New Jersey,  and Virginia) limit their citizens to one gun purchase per 30 days.” By showing respect for what the government has already done to stop gun violence in the past, the readers of the article might be more inclined to being open to her thoughts as well. All of the parts of an argument that are used by Megan are a huge factor as to why this is such a strong article.

            In all, the article on the need for stricter gun laws by Megan Weintraut was very insightful and full of everything that is necessary for a powerful and impactful argument. By using rhetorical appeals, rhetorical situations, and the parts of an argument, Megan achieved the capability to intrigue her audience to listen to her opinion on the subject given.

            

Prewriting Essay One

1st PARAGRAPH INTRODUCTION: Introduce who the speaker was and what they were talking about.
Introduce whether or not you thought it was a strong argument.
Introduce how she went into textual and contextual analysis details.
Introduce how along with that she also covered the parts of an arguments.

2nd PARAGRAPH: Talk about how she covered contextual analysis and what detail she went into.
Talk about the 5 W's she went into
Talk about her rhetorical situations including her audience, occasion, and purpose

3rd PARAGRAPH: Talk about how she covered textual analysis and what she said about it

The Text Itself

Talk about her voice style and the rhetorical appeals

4th PARAGRAPH: Go into how she covered each step of the parts of an argument 

State her claim, Reasons, Evidence, Acknowledgment and Respsonse

Rhetorical Analysis Quiz

The two types of rhetorical appeals used in writing are textual and contextual analysis. Textual analysis is an analysis that focuses on the words and the text itself. It deals with language, voice, and style which can deal with things such as the tone in the speakers voice or writing. Textual Analysis is mainly used when describing the three rhetorical appeals such as pathos, ethos, and logos. On the other hand, Contextual analysis is an analysis that places the argument within a larger argument. It deals with the 5 know W's such as who, what, when, where, and why. A contextual Analysis also uses the rhetorical situation which incorporates audience, occasion, and Purpose. The Occasion is the type of argument being produced, while the purpose the the central aim of the argument.