Sticks and Stones May Break Bones But Words Can Still Hurt
The year was 1964, and my father was only seven years old living in Brooklyn New York. My father was just like any other kid at the time. He liked to hang out with friends, spend time with his family, and didn’t enjoy waking up to go to school. Although his dislike for school was similar to most children, what made his experience unique is that he had a problem that seemed unavoidable; a bully named Bruce. Bruce had been bullying my father for the entire first month that school had been in session. There was no violence, no bloody noses, no bruised limbs, nothing but just the pure torture of verbal bullying.
See, my father was one of those kids who grew up before everyone else and seemed to always be one step ahead of the other children in size. This brought some unnecessary attention to him because apparently when you’re a little kid, being tall and different can cause other children to feel more powerful in that they are what we describe as the normal ones. Now each day, my father would go into school, see Bruce, and would immediately be called things such as, “Giant”, or “Weirdo” as Bruce laughed in his face, not allowing him to pass in the halls until every word was hurtfully put into my father’s head. These names might not seem like the worst thing in the world, but to a seven-year-old boy, they can be just as hurtful as racist slang from one race to another. This continued day in and day out, until one day, my father had enough and decided to stand up for himself. Now before I go on and finish up this story, I would like to get into a serious discussion about verbal bullying and the proper ways one should handle such an issue.
According to the article, What Is Verbal Bullying, by Rebecca Fraser-Thill, a verbal bully can be defined as, “Someone who uses language to gain power over his or her peers. The verbal bully makes use of relentless insults and teasing to bully his or her peers” (Fraser). Most people consider this to be worse than the physical aspect of bullying because it can cause a lot of emotional and psychological damage in a child if done over a period of time. Although verbal bullying is very harmful, if someone knows the right techniques to handle their bullies such as not using violence, talking to an adult, or ignoring the bully, problems can be solved and harm can be avoided.
Growing up, our parents always told us the same thing over and over again; violence is not the answer. Well, in the case of verbal bullying they are correct. Bullies are always looking for a target that is weaker than them not only physically, but mentally as well. With this being said, fighting back physically or verbally only encourages the bully to tease someone even more. According to the article, Defending Yourself Against Verbal and Emotional Abuse, “ When you try to fight back by trying to prove the abuser wrong, you’re just saying, yes, I’m so weak that I will let you push my buttons” What they are saying in this article is that by letting the bully know you are hurt and affected by what they are saying, it makes them feel even more powerful over you, making them want to push your buttons even more. Fighting back may seem like a good idea, but in almost all cases, it only makes the situation worse.
In addition to not fighting back, talking to an adult or an authority figure about the issue is always another very effective way to end bullying. When an authority figure gets involved, it only strengthens the chance of the harassment coming to an end because most bullies are actually scared to get in trouble and do not want to bring unwanted attention to themselves. Especially in younger children, like my father at the time, being punished or having consequences for your actions is no fate a child wants to endure. According to an article called Verbal Bullying they state that, “ A trusted teacher can make things a little easier, by being on the lookout for bullying behavior.” To me, the most important words in that statement are the fact that they will be on the lookout. When someone else is aware of the problem someone is having, it raises awareness and only increases the chances of the bully being caught. Making the issue well known is a great way to help out the issue of bullying and it is by no means embarrassing and it is not being rat.
A third and final strategy that I would like to go over n stopping verbal bullying is to just ignore the bully all together. Like I said before, a bully likes to feel powerful and threatening against their victims, so by not giving them the satisfaction can get rid of the bully as well. In the article Dealing with Bullies, they say that, “ try your best to ignore the bully’s threats. Acting as if you don’t notice and don’t care is like giving no reaction at all, and this might stop a bully’s behavior.” When a bully does not receive a reaction, they will most likely get frustrated and find a different target because they realize that the current one they have is unaffected by the words or actions taken by the bully. I now take the time to finish up my father’s story, although his actions are none that I recommend to people with the same problem.
As Bruce continued to bully my father, there came a day when my father had enough. One day in a local supermarket named Walbbaums, my father went shopping with my grandmother for some groceries. While at the supermarket, my grandmother gave him twenty-five cents to buy a toy out of the machine. My father quickly ran over, and obtained a popular toy back then, a blue spinning top. Of course, Bruce happened to be there as well with his friends, and went up to my father demanding for the toy. He pushed my father and demanded he give it up. Once he physically touched my father, that was the last straw considering my father was bigger than him. With all of his might, my dad closed his eye, clenched his fist, and punched Bruce right in the face and broke his nose. Bruce fell to the floor and ran home crying. Feeling accomplished, my father minded his own business and went home. Later that night, Bruce’s father knocked on my father’s door. My father, trembling in fear, went up to the man, and Bruce’s father had nothing to say other than, “Thank you for teaching my son a lesson. I don’t think he will be bothering anyone again.”
My father was able to handle his bully on his own, but his actions were those that should not be taken. If there is a situation that needs to be solved, it is important to take the steps that I have recommended earlier. These include things such as not using violence, telling an authority figure, or ignoring the bully all together. Verbal bullying is a serious subject and should not be overlooked. With all of the ways to deal with verbal bullying provided above, I think it is safe to say that a couple of words can take a toll on someone, and it is important to help the situation before it gets worse. In all, verbal bullying is something we should all be aware of, and remember, sticks and stones may break bones but words still hurt.
Works Cited
Beck, Kristen Brooke. "Defending Yourself Against Verbal and Emotional Abuse."
Kristen's Guide. Kristen Brooke Beck Company, 17 Sept. 2007. Web. 8 May
2011. <http://www.kristensguide.com/Happiness/Dealing_With_People/
emotional_verbal_abuse_defense.asp>.
"Dealing with Bullies." Kids Health. Nemours, n.d. Web. 8 May 2011.
<http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/bullies.html#>.
Fraser-Thill, Rebecca. "What Is Verbal Bullying." About.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 20
Apr. 2011. <http://tweenparenting.about.com/od/socialdevelopment/a/
"Verbal Bullying." Bullying Statistics. N.p., 2009. Web. 8 May 2011.
<http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/verbal-bullying.html>.l
bullying.htm>
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